Weird Laws
Australia
1) Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them.
2) It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
England
1) Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
France
1) Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of the music in the radio must be by French composers.
Thailand
1) It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear.
2) You must wear a shirt while driving a car.
3) You must pay a fine of $600 in Thailand if you're caught throwing away chewed bubblegum on the sidewalk. If you do not pay the fine, you are jailed.
4) No one may step on any of the nation's currency.
Alabama
1) It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
2) Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
3) It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
California
1) Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
2) Bathhouses are against the law.
Florida
1) If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
2) It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
3) Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
4) It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
5) When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
Louisiana
1) It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Nebraska
1) It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
New York
1) A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
2) It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
3) A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
North Dakota
1) It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Texas
1) It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
2) It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
3) It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
4) It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
5) A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
6) The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Wisconsin
1) You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
2) Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
17 Things I Hate About People
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be - ears? Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting- I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff, who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger - just a "Chicken Burger" get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes then, you fucking McTosser.
14. When you're involved in an accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
15. When people ask you if they can "borrow" a tissue...Are you really going to give that back to me?? Then no, you may not borrow one. If you think I am going to LEND you my tissue to get it back there's something wrong with you. Same goes for "borrowing" a piece of paper. You write on it, its yours buddy.
16. what people ask you "what's up?" even though they don't really care what the hell you say unless it involves something worth their time such as "Well I DID get hit by an 18 wheeler last night..." In other words, "what's up" has no literal meaning anymore. So don't flatter yourself into thinking anyone really cares about your well-being. Sorry...
17. Can I just ask why people with bad breath ALWAYS have a goddamn secret to tell you?.. Why?? Unless you're secretly telling me why you DON'T use breath mints,I don't wanna know.
Advertisements and Slogans
Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhoea".
Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as " eat your fingers off".
The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem -- Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty".
Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water".
Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
We all know about GM's Chevy Nova meaning "it won't go" in Spanish markets, but did you know that Ford had a similar problem in Brazil with the Pinto? Pinto was Brazilian slang for " tiny male genitals".
Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means "big breasts".
Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".
When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, " it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word " embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".
The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-ou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".
A few years ago, in the American Midwest, some people decided to show off their new "real" Mexican restaurant, named Chi-chi's to some visiting Californians. Upon seeing the name on the marquis, the Californians started to laugh. When asked why they were laughing, they explained that in Mexican Spanish, "chi-chi's" literally means "titties."
